HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize