thus making me awesome and them whores
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize