You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
