Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
