He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
