remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize