she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
