I'm so fucking centered right now
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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