all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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