I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
