True but thats because hes a fetus.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
