i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
