Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The uberlube is also flammable
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
