he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
