why didn't you poke me back
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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