Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
