every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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