so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
