i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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