wanna go halves on a baby?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Pooping to opera.
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