hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
she looked like the before picture.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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