Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
