Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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