party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize