C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
