Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
