At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
