Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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