You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
