So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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