you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
