A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
