turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize