Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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