he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize