I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
