I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize