Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
