escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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