The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
