I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize