Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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