I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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