it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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