This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
