So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think your dad took our porno
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
