he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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