Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize