I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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