The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize