Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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