That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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