My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You're like the curious george of whores
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
