i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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