Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
