ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
