dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You were trust falling into bushes
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize