"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
