I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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