I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize