hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
