just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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