I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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